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Grave Revisionism

[ Carrie McLaren and Jeff Hyslop ]

In the past couple of years, everyone from Einstein to Ghandi has been given new life–selling products. No doubt many of the exhumed, having acheived fame through the old-fashioned method of doing rather than promoting, are rolling over in their graves. By the time Madison Avenue gets through with them, we may have a tough time recognizing them. "Hm, was Einstein the one who sold computers or french fries?"

ALBERT EINSTEIN
"The trite objects of human efforts–possessions, outward success, luxury–have always seemed to me contemptible."
(Apple Computers; Nikon cameras; Coca-Cola; an unnamed hair-loss product; many others)

ALDOUS HUXLEY
"Popular philosophy . . . is now molded by the writers of advertising copy, whose one idea is to persuade everybody to be as extroverted and uninhibitedly greedy as possible, since of course it is only the possessive, the restless, the distracted, who spend money on the things that advertisers want to sell."
(Bass Ale)

MARTIN LUTHER KING
"The profit motive, when it is the basis of an economic system, encourages a cutthroat competition and selfish ambition that inspires men to be more concerned about making a living than making a life." (Coca-Cola, Coors; Sears, Roebuck & Co.; AT&T; many others)

MALCOLM X
"Show me a capitalist and I’ll show you a bloodsucker."
(X cigarettes; "X" clothing line)

RALPH WALDO EMERSON
"For me, commerce is of trivial import; love, faith, truth of character, the aspiration of man, these are sacred."
(American General Corp.)

CHE GUEVERA
"In culture, capitalism has given all that it had to give and all that remains of it is the foretaste of a bad-smelling corpse; in art, its present decadence."
(Che Beer; Swatch watch)

JOHN LENNON
"Money doesn’t matter, it never did. Money is just another trap . . . It makes you sexy and intelligent and talented in a flash, poof! And it’s a lie."
(Apple Computer; One2One)

GHANDI
"What is a man if he is not a thief who openly charges as much as he can for the goods he sells?"
(Apple Computer)

HENRY DAVID THOREAU
"Trade curses everything it handles; and though you trade in messages from Heaven, the whole curse of trade attaches to the business."
(This one’s an honorable mention: not his image, but his name and a quote were used by Jeep)

See also Attn: Advertisers