In a two-gallon container, mix spices, perfumes, and arsenic and water. Make sure the arsenic is dilluted. Connect rubber tubing to the bottom of container and hand it from aprox. 7 feet. Lay your pet, backside down, on a table. Find an appropriate artery and vein (your guess) and place bent straw in the artery going down toward the feet. Let the homemade embalming fluid enter your beast. After two or three minutes, cut an opening in the vein to releae the pressure and let the fluid make a complete circle. (You many have to place another straw going up into the head to make sure the cranium is well preserved.) Sew up the opening and you're done. Just prop him or her up on the couch, and you're all set!